Posted: Feb 13, 2018

Why I Will Never Be a Swammer

Swimming is a part of my identity.

When asked about myself, saying that I’m a swimmer is second only to my name.

This is why the thought of being a “swammer” is so terrifying: even after 16 years of competitive swimming, I am not ready to move on.

Undoubtedly, CMS Swim & Dive has provided me with the most meaningful four years of my swimming career. I have surpassed goals I never imagined I would achieve, have worked harder than ever before, and have made everlasting friendships with people who have supported me through it all. There have been moments that I will never forget.

One of the most memorable personal experiences came during my freshman season. I was scratched into the top heat of the 1650 freestyle on the last night of the SCIAC Championships. It was pouring rain, and we were competing in an outdoor pool. As I stood behind the block, I was shaking – but it wasn’t due to the cold. It was due to the pure adrenaline pumping through my veins.

As the slowest person in the heat, I was seeded to get ninth place. But as only a freshman, I was thrilled to be able to swim in the evening alongside the fastest distance swimmers in the conference, including three of my fellow Athenas.

I dove in and started pacing my mile exactly as I had in the dual meets before. However, around the 300-yard mark, I realized I had more in me. I started pulling harder and attacking my flipturns with more force. Before I knew it, I was passing the girl in the lane next to me. And then the girl in the lane next to her. Something came over me, and suddenly I was no longer cautious, no longer questioning whether or not I should preserve my energy. I just went for it.

I finished the race in fourth place, beating my best time by over 26 seconds, and breaking the 18-minute barrier for the first time in my life. It was something I never thought I could do and I know I couldn’t have done it without spending the previous six months surrounded by dedicated, enthusiastic, and hard-working Athenas and Stags.

Through countless hours in the pool, we pushed ourselves not only physically, but mentally as well. We gained confidence in our abilities by grinding through hard sets, reaching new maxes in the weight room, and striving to be better swimmers by the end of the day than we were at the start. In that first season and the three to follow, I gained the confidence and found the inspiration I needed to carry me to new personal bests and team victories.

It has not always been easy. There have been many days when I set my alarm for 6 a.m. and didn’t close my eyes to sleep until two the next morning. There have been aches and pains, dry skin, damaged hair, and chlorine burn, but these inconveniences were never enough to keep me from returning to the pool, and to the teammates I see as family.

As I approach my final SCIAC meet, I recognize that although my days as a CMS swimmer are numbered, I will forever be an Athena and a member of the CMS Swim & Dive community.

Being a CMS athlete has shaped me into the strong, ambitious, and empowered individual that I am today. My relationships with teammates and coaches have blossomed into lifelong friendships, and I have made memories that will bring a smile to my face no matter where I am or what I am doing. Because of that, I know I will never truly be a swammer.

I am forever grateful for my time as a CMS athlete, my coaches, teammates, and the CMS community.